My chest feels tight and constricted. I keep thinking about Amsterdam, and all the things that I've done and learnt there, and all the things that I could/should be doing there right now. I thought I would be progressing by joining this company, but instead I feel so bored and unchallenged in this fluorescent air-conditioned office of cubicles and corridors. Uninspiring people with useless things to talk about. Fashion here looks exactly the same as how it did 10 years ago. The mindset here remains exactly the same as it was 10 years ago. It's not just about freedom; it's about the desire for development - in consciousness. I want my blue skies and fresh air. I want my clear mind and hunger for more. So then every bus ride, I ask myself, 'what the fuck am I doing?' But then I'm at once reminded of the fact that I've moved everything back to Singapore.