i feel that in order to maintain my sanity and emotional well-being, i have to let both important and unimportant things go. i have to work and get caught up in the process without end. if i don't think about the possible failure or success, i won't have any expectations, and therefore i would neither be tremendously satisfied nor disappointed by the end result. i build a void, a depth of blue, a nauseating blankness, a caffeine high that keeps me going.